what more would you want from christmas
than candy canes and toys
ill deliver something
to help fill up your void

there are no elves or reindeer
working at this pole
but if you been a good girl
ill warm you in the cold

stockings arent the only thing
that's hung this holy night
i'll make sure your christmas is white
i got a special package
for you to unwrap
and then ill shower you with more gifts
from my giant sack

just think how better off you'd be
if everyone could get some scottie
underneath their tree

in the christmas spirit
i'll even visit jews
and put the joy of christmas
deep inside of you