turn it on turn it on and tune me out
it's so romantic
you and me and your tv
we made dinner with candles
bagles with lax
and we watched cops
i think i forgot
what your eyes look like
when they're not reflecting 90210
turn it on and tune me out
you don't need intimacy
turn it on and tune me out
you've got big screen tv
we sat hand in hand
i watched you watch your tv
you fell asleep to baywatch
mitch saved babes as i watched the clock
i wonder are you dreaming
and should i keep believing
do i mean more to you than
so much more to you than magnum

ireland is at war with herself
hopeless that i couldn't help
when ireland is at war with herself
my heart was strong but i was wrong
to think that i could save her
her head was mixed in politics
and i fell out of favor
there was no trial
no mercy mild
and now i am forever exiled
ireland is at war with herself
all the time i spent in ireland
she never gave a hint of discontent
we used to run through the fields hand in hand
i was her little boy i was her somewhat bigger man
i pledged my loyalty
i was her patriot
i was her everything that she'd soon forget
ireland is at war with herself
hopeless cause i couldn't help
when ireland is at war with herself

dont't laugh the paper said
cause soon he'll be dead
the paper said today
the band would in fact play
after cancelling their show
doctors had discovered
deep down inside the drummer
a somewhat large malignant growth
it was testicular cancer
the paper had all the answers
they really seemed to have a ball
cause cancer's funny after all
the paper said today
they diagnosed too late
the prognosis seemed mighty slim
but don't you think it's funny
cause it's his balls and not his tummy
our prayers are with him
the paper said today

tell me all about your neighbor
tell me something i don't know
his chest is thicker
i don't have to measure
i know that it's bigger
i don't know about your neighbor
please don't talk about your neighbor
i don't want to hear his name
he's built like a barrel
and his arms are large
and my arms are skinny
i really fear your neighbor
he probably owns a gun
but doesn't need it
he could squash me like a bug
and fix your car at the same time
i just lost you to your neighbor
but i don't think that he's your type
he's always there and he makes you cook
and you never cook
retrieve a beer for your new neighbor
where did i fall short
when did you get so annoyed