She?ll have another piece of pie
She?ll have a double reuben rye
She kicks hard at eating well
That?s why I love her

She?s got a couple of pony kegs
Her arms are bigger than my legs
And when she holds me I can?t breathe
That?s why I love her

I?m her butter she? my bread
She?s like a mobile waterbed
And hwen I got on top of her
I can?t touch the mattress

And when her flesh begins to sag
She?s like a human sleeping bag
I feel so cozy safe and warm
She?s my insulation

I always know where she sat
And when she?s on me I get flat
Some broken ribs a punctured gut
That?s why I love her

She?s my phillie I?m her stud
Her bean is bigger than my pud
It?s like feeding a tic-tac to a whale
That?s why I love her