Oh well imagine as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
"What a beautiful wedding! what a beautiful wedding!"
Says the bridesmaid to a waiter
"And yes but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore"

(Chorus)
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door"
No, it's much better to fix these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door"
No, it's much better to fix these kinds of things with a sense of... oh

Well, in fact well, I'll look at it this way I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well, this calls for a toast so pour the champagne
Oh, well in fact well, I'll look at it this way I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well, this calls for a toast so pour the champagne, pour the champagne

(Chorus)
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door"
No, it's much better to fix these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door"
No, it's much better to fix these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality

Again...

(Chorus)
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door"
No, it's much better to fix these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door"
No, it's much better to fix these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality

Again...