Imperial Bedroom - Elvis Costello

history repeats the old conceits the glib replies the same defeats keep
your finger on important issues with crocodile tears and a pocketful of
tissues i'm just the oily slick on the windup world of the nervous tick
in a very fashionable hovel i hang around dying to be tortured you'll
never be alone in the bone orchard this battle with the bottle is
nothing so novel so in this almost empty gin palace through a two-way
looking glass you see your alice you know she has no sense for all your
jealousy in a sense she still smiles very sweetly charged with insults
and flattery her body moves with malice do you have to be so cruel to be
callous and now you find you fit this identikit completely you say you
have no secrets and then leave discreetly i might make it californias
fault be locked in genevas deepest vault just like the canals of mars
and the great barrier reef i come to you beyond belief my hands were
clammy and cunning shes been suitably stunning but i know theres not a
hope in hades all the laddies cat call and wolf whistle so called
gentlemen and ladies dog fight like rose and thistle ive got a feeling
im going to get a lot of gried [sic] once this seemed so appealing now i
am beyond belief i know the name on the tip of your tongue and i know
that accusing look everybody knows ive been so wrong thats the problem
and heres the hook tears before bedtime therell be trouble tonight i
dont want to talk about it anymore i dont want to have another fight i
dont want to talk i dont want to fight how wrong can i be before i am
right for the tears that you boo hoo hoo hoo there can be no defence you
say youll forgive and foget [sic] but its only a pretence either you can
leave the past behind or give me something to disconnect my mind i sleep
with my fists clenched tight when i dont lie awake all night i guess
time gave up the ghost too late and the balance of our love very soon
turns to hate darling your suspiciousness tortures me at night but i
cant excuse the cruel words that i use whenever we fightgiving [sic] you
more of what for always worked for me before now im a shabby doll whats
going on behind the green elevator door with just a shabby doll theres a
hit man facing a compomising [sic] situation with just a shabby doll and
a very neat line in character assassination shes just a shabby doll shes
just a shabby doll shes putting him off and putting you on shes just the
shabby doll youre swearing upon you know in your heart shes gone you
know in your heart shes just a shabby doll theres a girl in this dress
theres always a girl in distress shes just a shabbyd doll shes so sure
shes self possessed then again shes half undressed shes just a shabby
doll the boy that i used to be showed no sign of sympathy with just a
shabby doll i have betrayed you and me and paid for my own bribery with
just a shabby doll hes the tired toy that everyone enjoyed he wants to
be a fancy man but hes nothing but a nancy boy hes all pride and no joy
and being what you might call a whore always worked for me before now im
a shabby fdoll [ sic] untie the gag the cats out of the bag but wont
show his claws hes just a shabby doll she said you must be joking some
things are left unspoken youre just a shabby doll hes lying limp and
soaking he was openly broken by just a shabby doll all the bedroom
lights go out as the neighbourhood gets quiet everything in heaven and
earth is almost right but theres a wife whos wondering where her husband
could be tonight and when the phone rang only once she took a dreadful
fright little things just seem to undermine her confidence in him he was
late this time last week who can she turn to when the chance of
coincidence is slim cos the baby isnt old enought to speak theres been a
long honeymoon she thought too late and spoke too soon theres no money
back guarantee on future happiness theres been a long honeymoon if hes
out on a date then her lifes in ruins she never thought her love could
ever be as strong as this all the movies and the papers feature the
murders of lonely women if he isnt in by ten shell call up her best
friend why doesnt he come home why does her friends phone keep on
ringing maybe she should just pretend so this is where he came to hide
when he ran from you in a private detectives overcoat and dirty dead
mans shoes the pretty things of knightsbridge lying for a minister of
state are a far cry from the nod and wink here at traitors gate cos the
high heel he used to be has been ground down and he listens for the
footsteps that would follow him around to murder my love is crime [sic]
but wil l [sic] you still love a man out of time theres a tuppeny
hapenny millionaire looking for a fourpenny one with a tight grip on the
short hairs of the public imagination but for his private wife and kids
real life becomes a rumour days of dutch courage just three french
letters and a german sense of humour hes got a mind like a sewer and a
heart like a fridge he stands to be insulted and he pays for the
privilege the biggest wheels of industy [sic] retire sharp and short and
the after dinner overtures are nothing but an after thought somebodys
creeping in the kitchen theres a reputation to be made whose nerves are
always on a knifes edge whos up late polishing the blade love is always
scarpering or cowering or fawning you drink yourself insensitive and
hate yourself in the morning almost blue almost doing things we used to
do theres a girl here and shes almost you almost all the things that
your eyes once promised i see in hers too hnow [sic] your eyes are red
from crying almost blue flirting with this disaster became me it named
me as the fool who only aimed to be almost blue its almost touching it
will almost do theres a part of me thats always true always not all good
things come to an end its only a chosen few ive seen such an unhappy
couple almost me almost you almost blue you turn to the sinister when
you get the boot sliding down the banister in your sunday suit lying on
a slag heap of blankets and magazines shes only thiry five [sic] going
on seventeen youd better roll over and go to sleep if you dont come
clean and in every home there will be lots of time i will be all yours
you might have been admired they say theyre very sorry but you are not
desired o heaven preserve us because they dont deserve us holding your
life in your hand with an artificial limp wrist and so a young blade
becomes a has been looking for a new twist a year after the wedding he
broke all their china plates hes in prison now shes running with his
mates sees him every sunday and he asks her where shes been shes only
thirty five going on seventeen shes going to cop a packet if he ever
finds her inbetween [sic] the sheets

dont get smart or sarcastic he snaps back just like elastic spare us the
theatrics and the verbal gymnastics we break wise guys just like
matchsticks what would the loved ones say your pride and joy is all
blown up what would the loved ones say the bride and boy are barely
grown up youre not my particular poisin [sic] ive got nothing against
you myself you could have been a danger to the boys and girls now youre
a danger to yourself o what would the loved ones say what would the
loved ones say o what would the loved ones say what would the loved ones
say the ugly little scenes run round your bed the ugly little dreams you
get the needle and no thread they stitched you up this time they say
youll do they b_tch about your pretty face turning ugly on you the
butcher the baker and the bassline maker say you can leave her i can
take her you live your whole life like a minute or two later one day its
going to end sooner than greater what would the loved ones say hell be
remembered young and pretty what would the loved ones say now hes a hit
in every city now theres a name well never forget theres one born
everyminute [sic] dont pin a medal on me yet they might be waiting for
you pps i love you ive been talking to the wall and its been answering
me o darling how i miss you im just the mere shadow of my former
selfishness i crave the silhouette of your kiss with only the blue light
of the tv on lip reading threats and false alarms theres a boy somewhere
holding hands with himself and a girl in a window on the reeperbain
whenever i put my foot in my mouth you begin to doubt that its you
imdreaming [sic] about do i have to draw you a diagram all i ever want
is just to fall into your human hands with the kings and queens of the
dance hall craze checkmate in three moves in your heyday but the girls
dont listen to your line anymore now youre part of someone else on the
factory floor and you still say wheres the action now you manufacture
happiness and get sold for someones satisfaction all you toy soldiers
and scaremongers are you living in this world sometimes i wonder in
between saying youve seen too much and saying youve seen it all before
tighter and tighter i hold you tightly you know i love you more than
slightly although ive never said it like this before he saw no tears in
her eyes say you wouldnt kid about it shes telling all of those lies she
swore shed never told before but i doubt it so he bit his tongue and
tried hard to capture his breath when she said i waited all my life for
just a little death say you wouldnt kid about it say you wouldnt kid
about it say you wouldnt kid about it sometimes he takes himself so
seriously she makes her movements mysteriously slow fast or furiously
its a big responsibility with a face full of mixed ability big dreams of
elegance singing the leaving of liverpool and turning into americans so
what if this is a mans world i want to be a kid again about it give me
back my sadness i couldnt hide it even if i tried girl we fight so frail
making love tooth and nail you gave me the kiss of my life i might even
live to tell the tale i would have waited all my life just to make love
out of something other than spite but the beauty is the beast youre
baiting should really be worth the waiting you do something very special
to mr average mnow [sic] the lamb lies with the lion hes just a little
savage and so you turn your back on me and all the hot air that only
ehoes stale tobacco actions speak louder than words by just a fraction
whats the use of saying i love you whe im drinking to distraction we
save our sanity by saying such and usch [sic] after all its been
discussed you say you must be touched i feel like a boy with a problem i
cant believe what weve forgotten and i even slapped your face and made
you cry its the last thing i want to do pull the curtains on me and you
pull the carpet from under love pull out like young lovers do you swore
you wouldnt shout if its not your punch then its your pout days in
silence try my temper nights spent drinking to remember how memories are
always tender i crept out last night behind your back the little they
know might be the pieces i lack came home drunk talking in circles the
spirit is willing but i dont believe in miracles ive got a problem but
lets go to bed i can roll over and i can play dead but here i am in the
doghouse instead i feel like a boy with a problem i cant believe all
youve forgotten sleeping with forgiveness in your heart for me theres a
young girl with her old man whos too sick to mention shell be turning
twenty seven as she draws her widows pension but he couldnt catch a
common cold he couldnt get arrested too terrified to answer back too
tired to have resisted many hands make light work shorthand makes life
easy when hes out on night work make sure no one sees me it all ends up
in a slanging match with body talk and bruises a change is better than a
rest silly beggars cant be choosers one of a thousand pities you cant
categorize there are ten commandments of love when will you realise
there are ten commandments of love i believe i trust i promise i wish
loves just a throw away kiss in this pidgin english if youre so wise
used your lips and your eyes take it to the bridge she sighs you go
cheep cheep cheep between bulleyes and bluster stiff as your poker face
keener than mustard from your own back yard to the land of exotica from
the truth society to neurotic _rotica silence is golden money talks
diamonds and ermine theres a word in spanish italian and german in sign
language morse code semaphore and gibberish have you forgotten how to
say it in your pidgin english ps i love you daddys best girl in the
world is not supposed to have a boyfriend but shes never wanted at home
other girls areallowed [sic] to wear their makeup she sneaks out her
lipstick powder and comb she surrounds his name with hearts and flowers
talks on the telephone for hours and hours but with the bird in his hand
and two on a string the words of love have an imitation ring you little
fool i suppose that your going to stay all night you little fool dont
look at me that way you know it isnt right you little fool they say now
[sic] news is good news the little girl wants information mother just
gives her some pills to choose and says go use your imagination daddys
best girl in the world says just look what i have got as she sits beside
him on the high stool with his arm around her neck snowball in one hand
and the other full of imitation jewels she fingers a string of pearls an
imitation but hell never know imitation lashes flutter above looking for
an imitation love im the town crier and everybody knows im just a little
down with a litetime [sic] to go maybe you dont believe my heart is in
the right place why dont you take a good look at my face other boys use
the splendour of their trembling lip theyre so teddy bear tender and
tragically hip im never going to cry again im going to be as strong as
them they say theyd sdie [sic] for love and then they live it out theyll
give you something to cry about and suddenly you really fall to pieces
love and unhappiness yo [sic] arm in arm long suffering friends of your
fatal charm isnt it a pity that youre going to get hurt just a little
boy lost in a big mans shirt

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