Alive - Joe Budden

Parks on the board
Real n_ggas in the booth, let's go
I got Kdot on the keys
It go (it go)
Check this, listen

I got strangers in my face
Beggin' me to take a picture
Still self-centered, they can give a f_ck 'bout how a n_gga feel
B_tches hang around to hang around even when sh_t get real
But I ain't left nothin', maybe I should write a different will
They usin' me I'm usin' them, they don't see the angle
Therapeutic, I don't even f_ck 'em unless it's painful
Why do all these b_tches seem to think they can change Joe?
Judge me all you want I never claim to be an angel
Patriotic, psychotic, obsessive-compulsive, convulsive, neurotic
On narcotics, searchin' for you if you got it
Seein' young blacks gettin' killed weekly that's a moot fact
If these coppers shoot at me, trust me I'mma shoot back
Maybe y'all 'll pray for me
But I don't mean once or even twice, I mean every day for me
So I'm on my knees, there's gotta be a better way for me
Open these windows and these doors but demons stay with me
And baby that's okay with me

I came in with my heart, what made you wanna leave?
F_ck with my heart and now it's killin' me
This be enough to make a n_gga cry
I wish 'em well until this runnin' dry
They won't ever take me alive
All I ever do is survive
And I know cause they already tried
It's too late cause I've already died
At least inside, they'll never take me alive

Lemme get far as f_ck away from these n_ggas
F_ck away from these hoes
Where I'm at now its f_ck music I don't wanna rap
I don't wanna perform or host
And my father's sayin' "get it together" and nothin' matters but my health
Hope heaven reserved a section for an addict like myself
Watchin' myself on TV see my knees shaking on that show
Plus the way shorty's life is now, I bet she's rethinking that "no"
She thought she was only sayin' no to marriage
But that "no" is to so much more, now I can't wait to see what her path is
I guess being a wife ain't sound as fun as bein' a bad b_tch
Couldn't deal with my habits, wasn't me though you'd been catfish
We're speakin' a different language
Showin' you the signs in morse code
Last time a n_gga loved two b_tches I lost 'em both
So she scared, try not to get emotionally invested
I know God will find a way for those emotions to get tested
Which is cool, maybe not for me
Front all you want in your heart somewhere
I know there's a spot for me
The sad part is when it's vacant, I'll be gone
How I love you but I hate you
And all you're doing is being the person that I made you
From hateful to graceful
From rageful to grateful
Then God came and snatched that space for you
I tried to save it boo
Everything I caught myself building to that point was made for two
Writing out the script, wish you'd a told me the page was full
But f_ck it, He knows better than I
Regret'll subside, let's sever the ties
After all it's just one less goodbye


Lemme get far as f_ck away from these b_tches
F_ck away from these hoes
Lemme get far as f_ck away from my n_ggas
Lemme get real close to my foes
They tellin' me that I gotta act famous now, etcetera
I been regular, so I feel like an anus now
See all of this time I've just been treatin' y'all accordingly
On an even plane like no one is any less or more than me
But the Lord agrees he said, "keep playin' with fire, if you're Joseph you'll get burned"
I hate second guessing I'll wait 'til the motives get confirmed
Call from the shorty, we off that b_tch, option time
Models, sport some
All these cities, I got to tour one
All these bottles, I got to pour one
All these hoes, i got to call one
Our situation is a tall one, what you gonna do, pour or run?
So I'm spending forty thousand dollars on a time-piece
Help my self esteem and get this sh_t up off my mind please
Anybody lookin' for me, y'all know where to find me
I be right up Steinway n_gga I ain't playing hide and seek
Let that liquor induce ya, then watch how fast it go from a couple n_ggas on the hookah
To some triggers, to them shooters, everything that's going on is kinda sicker than I'm used to
I'm just wrestling with them snakes, you ever kick it with Medusa?
Let me get the f_ck away from these pills
The f_ck away from this drinkin'
Let me get the f_ck away outta my way
Let me get far as f_ck away from my thinkin'
'Till it's better, it's whatever, sh_t I'm unapologetic
Since all i got is my word n_gga tell 'em that i said it
It's Joe


Uhh, uhh, uhh
It go


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