If I Was The King - Steel Panther

If I was the King
I would get myself a b_tchin' crown
And I'd make all the b_tches call me Sir Michael Starr
I'd have a castle and a b_tchin' throne
And at night I'd go in the town
In a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar

If I was the King
I would outlaw clothes for chicks
So you could see if the shaved their pussies
Or if they were hiding d_cks
I'd lower the drinking age
So little kids could get drunk too
And I'd make it a f_cking crime to wear a wedding ring
If I was the King

That'd be f_ckin' nice right?

I'd knock down all the schools
And put up licquor stores
And give free boobjobs to the strippers and the whores
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!

If I was the King
I'd make beer the official food
And you'd never have to take the trash out
If you happen to be born a dude
You could buy hand grenades at Starbucks
And take a sh_t right on the street
And I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her sing
If I was the King

Her comes the court jester man!

And if the motherf_cking peasents didn't like it
I would tell them all to s_ck my d_ck
S_ck my d_ck
S_ck my d_ck

Legalize masturbation
At every strip joint in the nation
And the minimum cup size would have to be a double D
Oh yeah
But if you were in a band
You wouldn't have to use your hand
There'd be mandatory blowjobs for guys like you and me!

If I was the King
Megan Fox would be my Queen
But I'd still f_ck Christie Brinkley
And any girl older than 16
I'd execute One Direction
And drop a nuke on the Middle East
But I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the sting
If I was the King
If I was the King
If I was the King

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