Like a Boss - The Lonely Island

Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss.
Well, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss".
Well the first thing I do is--

Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Read a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct work-flow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micro-manage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss)

Hit on Deborah (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)

Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss)
No Promotion (like a boss)
5th of vodka (like a boss)
Sh_t on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh f_ck man, I can't f_cking do it, sh_t!

P_ssy out (like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the windows (like a boss)
S_ck a dude's d_ck (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
S_ck my own d_ck (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)

Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
F_ck his brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the Sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an... average day for you then.
No doubt.
You chopped your balls off and died.
Hell yeah.
And I think at one point there you said something about s_cking your own d_ck?
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.
Nah, that ain't me.
OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.
I'm the boss.
Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times.
I'm the boss.
Ya, ya, I got it.
I'm the boss.
No, I heard you, see you later!
(like a boss)

view 26,551 times